A Comm Away

Posted on Sat Sep 23rd, 2017 @ 11:28pm by Captain Brady Dering M.D., PhD & Commander Zoe Eckhardt M.D.
Edited on on Wed Sep 12th, 2018 @ 7:21pm

Mission: My Place In This Universe
Location: ZuluBase/Zoe's Quarters
Timeline: 2388/08/18 0630 (August 18 2388 0630)

As Zoe Eckhardt began to stir, she found herself snuggled against another warm body and let out a contented sigh as she cuddled closer. She felt safe, protected and the feeling was wonderful. Nuzzling against her sleeping partner's neck she let out a soft groan of pleasure and her hand began to wander south just before her eyes flew open wide and she sat up suddenly, looking around to see that her realisation was correct. It was Brady. Running a hand through her tousled hair she looked at him with concern. Had she really just been that brazen with him?

Brady opened his eyes, along with the realization that he hadn't been dreaming afterall. He pulled himself forward and towards her, and not taking his eyes off of her as he mirrored her look. "Hey...are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine...I..." Zoe began, her eyes skittering away from his as she blushed, "I'm sorry, I forgot where I was for a moment there."

"Or maybe you forgot who you were with..." He dipped his head trying to draw her eyes back to his, "Zoe, it's my fault. I shouldn't of allowed us to fall asleep together."

"I don't know what I thought." Zoe sighed before finally meeting his gaze again, "All I know is that I felt safe and warm and...happy." she admitted softly.

"I understand." he returned quietly, and then hesitated, searching her eyes, wanting to tell her just how much he did understand; his own growing emotional need to be held and comforted, to be intimately touched by another. He couldn't get the words out except to say, "It's alright."

"I'm glad that you understand." Zoe replied, reaching over to grab the hypospray on the coffee table as her morning sickness began to rear its ugly head.

Brady put his hand out, offering to do it for her. He breathed in deeply at the effort to get his mind off the topic of loneliness. "How bad is it?" he asked.

"If it wasn't for the meds then I think I'd be throwing up most of the time." Zoe managed a weak smile, handing the hypo to him then pulled the hair away from her neck for him to inject her.

Feeling the softness of her hair as he placed the hypo, Brady found himself tempted to touch her, to brush his fingers along the curve of her neck. The hypo hissed, injecting it's contents, and he needed to close his eyes. He stilled, finding the whole thing overwhelming.

"Thanks." Zoe let out a sigh of relief as the hypo's contents took effect. She turned to face him and frowned. "Are you okay?" she asked tentatively as she watched him.

Unhappy with himself, Brady opened his eyes and stared at her. "Yeah," he nodded, "I'm fine except I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I ah.." he pushed himself to stand, and ran his hands down over his face as he moved away. "I haven't been sleeping well lately." he said as he turned to look down at her and smiled, "Last night was the most I have had in a while."

"I guess I have a good effect on you then." Zoe teased, smiling up at him and unaware of the conflict going on inside of him.

"Yeah...you do." he admitted to himself as well as to her. Then thinking to himself, So don't let it overwhelm you, deal with it, he looked at the time, and sat back down to lean towards her. "Zoe...I came here with the intention of being here for you, and that hasn't changed. but..." he hesitated averting his eyes downwards. "There is something I'm trying to deal with right now..." his eyes returned to her, "and I really need...someone to talk to."

Zoe reached out and took his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze as she said "Well I'll be here whenever you need me." She leaned over and gently kissed his cheek.

Brady closed his eyes again. "Thank you."

Beginning to realise that there was a lot more to Brady than she knew, Zoe hoped that in time he would feel more comfortable about using her as a sounding board. Keeping a hold of his hand, she asked "So what are your plans today?"

"I'm going to check on Kelly," Brady said, looking at her intently, "but...that won't be for a couple hours, it's still early..." and again he averted his eyes momentarily, this time needing to breath in deeply. "I have a meeting with the upper brass at thirteen hundred hours."

"You do?" Zoe frowned before asking "What about?"

"About my future." he said, nodding a little. "I'm leaving psychiatry. Actually, with the exception of Kelly, I already have."

"But you're so good at it." Zoe replied, looking at him with concern, "Are..." she paused as she tried to pluck up the courage to ask, "Are you leaving Starfleet?"

"No." Brady replied with a small smile, and added quietly "And thank you." he exhaled slowly, leaning back into the couch, and looked over at her as he thought about how to explain. She deserved more than the vagueness he'd been giving to Starfleet Command, but it wasn't that easy. He swallowed and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. How could he explain it when he was still trying to figure it out for himself.

Seeing that he was trying to work out a way to explain to her, Zoe sat back and gave him space to gather his thoughts, studying his profile as she waited.

Then the words were suddenly there. "I'm at a crossroad," he said as he lowered his hand, and not expecting to say, "and I feel so alone there."

Without a word Zoe leaned over and hugged Brady tightly. "You're not alone, you have friends." She pulled back to kiss his cheek and added "Friends who care. And that won't stop even if you go somewhere else, there's always subspace you know." she smiled at him with genuine warmth in her eyes.

Their faces close, Brady eyes searched hers. "Yeah...I know. I don't know why, but I...still feel that way."

"Tell me how I can help." Zoe whispered softly, hating to see him in such turmoil.

Brady tilted his head to the side as he continued to stare at her, whispering softly back, "You already are..." while feeling dangerously close to crossing a line. His finger traced the outline of her chin, and he gave her a small smile, "But I think I should leave."

"I..." Zoe began to protest but then sighed, realising that he was right. Something was happening that neither of them was ready for or even necessarily wanted. They were friends and she really, really didn't want to ruin that. She needed him in her life. "Okay." she said in a quiet voice.

Reaching up to cradle the side of her face, Brady continued to stare at her intently. She looked a little tired and drawn. "Maybe you should take the day off, get some more sleep."

Zoe shook her head and said "I can't, there's too much to do."

Still holding onto her face, he tilted his head down and looked at her with a firm expression, "Promise me you'll get some rest when you need it."

"I'll do my best." Zoe replied, not willing to promise in case her job got in the way.

Feeling pretty disappointed in her answer, Brady removed his hand from the side of her face as he stared back at her, he looked concerned. "I don't know what's going to happen this afternoon," he said quietly, "but meeting or no meeting, I'm a comm away if you need me."

"I know." Zoe smiled at him, "Same goes for me too." she added, "So we'll promise to call each other if we need anything." she added with a twinkle in her eye.

He found himself smiling back. "Yeah.." and turned away from her to take in another deep breath. "I'm pretty nervous about this meeting. Alot more than I thought I would be. I'm not use to feeling so...oh god.." he shook his head, and having rested his arm on on his leg, he placed his face in his hand as he pinched between his eyes again, "...so insecure..."

"What exactly is this meeting about to make you feel that way?" Zoe frowned.

"I don't know exactly." He looked back over at her, "Maybe... it's because I've been doing this for so long..." he pushed himself up and rubbed his hands down his face again. "Regardless this is something I have to do."

"Then go get 'em Tiger." Zoe smiled at him, "You'll woo them with your charm." she added confidently.

"Oh.." Brady blushed, his smile returning as he looked back down at her, "I don't know about that." and he stepped away to turning to face her, "I recently took the Bridge Officer's test, finally took that last step in command training, so that should help....open up my options."

Finding his humility a refreshing change for a man, Zoe commented "You kept that one quiet Brady Dering, does that mean you're looking to sit in the big chair one day soon?"

"Ah.." he started and then stopped from being thrown off for a moment. "I haven't put a lot of thought into it specifically," he said, his face warming even more, "but I can't stay a Lieutenant Commander forever."

"That extra one or two pips will suit you." Zoe commented fondly as she watched him.

"Thank you." Brady replied, returning her expression. "Okay.." he suddenly felt awkward and started heading for the door, "I should be going. Thank you for the night cap..and the company."

"Anytime." Zoe smiled at him, feeling kind of sad that he was leaving. Ever since Kirk had left she had felt bereft and alone and yet now here she was forming a deep friendship with a colleague who seemed to be able to make her feel better just by being in the same room. Life certainly liked to keep a girl on her toes that was for sure.

Brady turned around one last time at the door, and his eyes locked onto hers, "See ya later."

"Later." Zoe smiled softly as she watched him leave the feeling of solitude washing over her in mere moments as she found herself all alone once more.

End


Lieutenant Commander Zoe Eckhardt
Pregnant and lonely Chief Medical Officer
Starbase Zulu

Lt Commander Brady Dering
Lonely Zulu Fleet Psychiatrist
Temp assign - Magellan Campus