Bittersweet

Posted on Fri Feb 1st, 2019 @ 3:20am by Senior Captain Connor McKinney M.D. PhD & Senior Chief Petty Officer Teri Lane & Specialist Ivy McKinney & Lieutenant Commander Maggie Hubbell
Edited on on Fri Feb 1st, 2019 @ 3:22am

Mission: The First Step...
Location: Transportation Center, Dean's office, Connor's Apartment
Timeline: 2388/08/27 1123 (August 27 2388 11:23am)

A wave of excitement and dread formed inside Ivy McKinney as she appeared on the transporter pad. Her appearance here was going to come as a huge shock to her younger older brother, but it was past time. Two years was just too long considering the rumors that were circulating. She heard through the grapevine while on Zulubase that the Armstrong was destroyed. It couldn't be true, and those she'd asked to confirm the rumor weren't able to. That's when she thought of the one person who might know for one hundred percent accuracy.

Stepping off of the pad, Ivy turned her attention to the woman manning the transporter controls, then moved toward her. She bared an uncanny resemblance to the schools Dean, and even spoke with the same Australian accent. "Excuse me... could you tell me where I might find Connor McKinney?"

Maggie smiled back to her as her eyes took her in. As usual, she had the name of whom she was transporting, but now seeing the young woman and hearing her voice, she had no doubts that she was family to the Dean. "Well, this time of day he is usually in his office. I can direct you there if you like."

"Would it be okay if you called him over your combadge?" Ivy asked, looking more than a little hopeful. "My being here is a surprise. Or, if you are okay with it... maybe I can call him on it?"

"I..don't..know.." Maggie looked uncertained. "He won't go for me not telling him why I want him here.. But yet something tells me this is a reunion I would like to see. So, okay..." she smiled, "we'll go along with the latter but we'll use the console. Are you ready?"

"Yes, I am." Ivy answered, butterflies forming in her stomach as nervousness began to take shape. She made a mental note to never let so much time pass in the future.

Smiling, Maggie tapped the comm button on the transporter control console. "Transportation Center to the Dean's office."

=^=This is the Dean's office.=^= returned a bright voice.

"Hi Teri. Is the Dean available?" Maggie asked, wanting to make sure he wasn't in a meeting or unavailable.

=^=Yes...=^= There was a pause on Teri's end. =^=He's available. Just came in.=^= Her tone seemed hesitant. =^=Maggie, is there an issue? Something I can deal with, perhaps?=^=

"No..." Maggie's brow furrowed. This was highly unusual. "Is this a bad time, Teri?"

=^=Uh... depends on what 'bad ' you're referring to.=^= A sigh was audibly heard. =^=He's not busy but it's just been an off day And I prefer NOT to add to it.=^=

Looking at Ivy, Maggie replied, =^=I have a feeling that this might help.=^=

=^=If you have something that's gonna make this day better by all means.=^= There was a small laugh before a friendly Teri Lane threat was added, =^=I'm trusting you, Maggie, and I know where you sleep.=^=

Maggie smiled, shaking her head. "Noted, but I'm not worried."

=^=Give me a moment, he might need to be persuaded.=^=

Maggie put up hand, as if signaling Ivy to get ready.

A moment later returned Connor's voice, =^=McKinney here.=^= and Maggie nodded for Ivy to go ahead.

When she heard the sound of her brother's voice, tears began to well in her eyes. She wanted to see him, not just hear him. With tears spilling down her cheeks, she looked toward Maggie and nodded her head. The nerves were definitely still there, and Ivy had a small amount of anxiety starting to build. Would he be happy to see her? She certainly hoped he would. "Connor? Can you come to the transporter room? It's... important."

There was silence that seemed to stretch too long. Then =^=Ivy?=^= in an emotional whisper.

"Yes." She whispered, her accented voice choked with emotion. That one simple word was all she was able to muster.

The words came out fast =^=Please beam her directly to my office, Maggie.=^=

"Yes, Sir." Maggie's expression was serious. She now had some understanding on why Teri was so concerned. Obviously something was seriously wrong. She put the command into the console and then looked up for Ivy to step back onto the transporter pad.

"Thank you, Maggie." Ivy sniffled, then moved to the transporter pad to step back on it. "What you did... it means a lot to me."

Maggie gave her an understanding smile and then initiated the transport. A moment later Ivy was swept up in energy, and de-materialized away.

Connor leaned back gripping the edge of his desk and watched as the shafts of shimmering light coalesced into his sister. He pulled away and took a step forward, staring at her hard with emotion filled eyes, not even certain if she was real. And he had so many questions going through his mind.

When Ivy fully re-materialized in her brother's office, she stood there for a few moments just so she could take in the sight of him. It only lasted for a few seconds. The young woman raced across his office and threw her arms around Connor's neck, the tears she was able to hold back falling anew. She couldn't say anything, her throat clogged with so many emotions, but the fact that he was there and she was hugging him...

Emotionally stunned, Connor's arms slowly went around her. It took a moment but as it all became more real, he closed his eyes and held onto her even tighter. "Where have you been?" he demanded tearfully. "Mum 'n' dad have been so worried."

Ivy sniffled and leaned back just a touch so she could look at her big brother, but she didn't let him go. She was still quite choked with emotion. "Soon... Missed you so much." She leaned in again and held him even tighter.

Connor shook his head. "I missed you too." he managed, and he had, but her answer wasn't good enough. Needing one, needing several, about her, about Alex, it was all just...too...much. He let go of her. "I can't do this... Ivy, release me."

At his request, the young woman let him go and took a few steps back to put some distance between the two of them. Her hope that he'd be happy to see her were dashed, and regret stabbed through her. Regret for staying away so long. Regret for not staying in touch better. Regret for coming. "I..." She had nothing to say for herself. What could she say? He'd already made it abundantly clear he couldn't do it, so what was left? "I... I'm sorry, Connor." Her voice was choked with emotion, and it was a clear struggle just to get those three simple words out.

Shaking her head, Ivy turned on her heel with tears streaming down her cheeks and ran for the door. She was so close to hyperventilating. The need to get outside... away from the rejection... was just too great. Once she'd fumbled with the door and got it open, she fled through the outer office and into the hall, looking down each direction before picking one way and taking off.

When she was safely outside... out in the open and not seeming to care that anyone was around her... the young woman crumbled to her knees and dug her fingers into the earth beneath her. Her breath caught in her throat, but she gasped and fought until she was able to pull a pained one in.

Heavy footsteps came walking quickly up to her. Then two strong hands were pulling her to her feet. "I'm sorry..." Connor said tearfully, "Ivy..." With only a few groundskeeper personnel as witnesses, Connor held her up to his side, and then decided, "You're not running away this time, you're coming with me." And not giving her a chance to argue back, holding her tightly to him, he started walking away with her.

Although seen by more personnel as he took her to his apartment, Connor didn't care. What he cared about was Ivy. Although the unwanted reoccurring thoughts and questions kept going through his head, he tried his best to ignore them. Realizing that Teri and others had witnessed them both rushing out of his office, and through the building, he contacted security on the way, assuring them there was nothing to be concerned about. Then he freed his afternoon up for the next couple hours.

After bringing her glass of water, Connor pulled out the coffee table enough so he could sit on it and face Ivy as she was sitting on the couch. He leaned with one hand onto his leg, biting one thumb nail as he watched her intently.

Ivy took the glass of water and drank from it, keeping her gaze down at the floor. Her face was still streaked with tears, but at least she was able to breathe a bit better. She was completely ashamed of herself, and didn't hold his initial reaction to her showing up against him. "I've been traveling." She whispered.

Continuing to stare at her, he nodded and then swallowed. "Why are you here now?"

Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly. "I've been in the Delta Quadrant for about a week." She began quietly, fiddling with the rim of the glass in her hand. "I was on Risa with a man I'd been seeing... it was semi serious..." She shook her head, clearing the thoughts from her mind to get back on track. "We got into an argument, 'n' he... I left. Traveled to Zulubase to get away from him."

Connor's brows furrowed deeper as he listened to her, and his list of questions and concerns continue to grow. Had she heard about the Armstrong? Was she in some sort of trouble? Running his hand over his mouth and chin, he struggled and didn't say anything.

Their dad had developed a method of sitting down face to face, that as a family they used whenever there was something serious to talk about. They were straight forward, and Connor was as much as he could be. It was the McKinney way. At that moment he felt like he was a failure, and he looked downward as his eyes started tearing up again. The many times he had given bad or serious news as a doctor, but he couldn't get the words out to tell her about Alex.

"Are the rumors about the Armstrong true?" She asked softly, keeping her gaze away from him. "Is Alex really missing?"

Still looking downwards, he nodded. Needing to, he cleared his throat before answering, "Yes."

Ivy blinked, two tears falling toward the floor. She had a feeling it was, she just didn't want to believe it. "I should probably go. I know you're busy." The young woman rose to her feet, holding the glass out to him rather awkwardly. She just couldn't help feeling out of place... like she didn't really belong anymore... but, that's what years away got a person, and she had no one to blame but herself.

Connor accepted the glass, and then running his hand over his mouth and chin again, he rose to join her and determinedly said, "Don't let me chase you away. Please, Ivy..." he looked at her pleadingly. "We're family..."

"Do you really want me around, Connor?" She asked quietly. "You could barely stand me hugging you."

"What?" He suddenly looked away, his mind was racing. There had been times he had isolated himself in some way, but just like what happened in his office... He looked back at her as if he was expecting some sort of understanding, "That wasn't me."

Ivy reached out to place a hand against his cheek. She got it what he was going through... did she ever... "I'm sorry." She whispered. "I... I want to be... with family." She choked the words out, trying to keep herself from falling to pieces in front of him. Her own personal trauma, possibly the death of her oldest older brother, knowing her youngest older brother was facing so many demons...

Connor could see she was hurting, "If I tell you I need you?" He felt he did and could tell she needed him too.

"I can be here... for as long as you need me to be." She whispered.

Swallowing hard at her words, he suddenly pulled her into a hug and held onto to her tightly as if she was a lifeline. But the fears were still there, "Don't let me chase you away."

Ivy shook her head. She knew he needed her to be there. "I won't. I promise." She said softly, wrapping her arms around him once again.

"Okay..." Connor nodded, releasing her as he backed away, glancing to the side as he wiped his eyes of unshed tears. "I'll get you an apartment..'n' you can uh...", he ran his hand over his mouth, grabbing his bottom lip as he worked it out, "get a job..." His brow slightly furrowed, "Have you been working steady as a...as a botanical engineer?"

"A bit." She replied, wiping at her own eyes. "I left all my things at Zulubase. I was in a hurry to get here. I've got credits saved up, though, so it's not a huge deal."

"Okay," he said, and stared at her for another moment before looking around, "I'll send for your things. um..." he swallowed, looking back to her, his anxiety levels rising even more, "meanwhile ...you can use my bed, there's a real water shower in the thunderbox." He gestured over to the kitchen area, "A full kitchen...'n' ah... there's a little tucker in the refrigerator. A replicator..."

"Connor... I don't want to invade your personal space." She said softly. "I can hang out with Maggie. She seems like a sweet woman."

"Maggie? No...Ivy.." Placing one hand on his hip, covering his mouth with the other, Connor inhaled deep, looking down to the floor. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again. He knew that she knew he was feeling a lot of anxiety over the situation, and so he took a moment to reign himself in. Dropping his hand, he said quietly to her, "I'll make some arrangements, but please for now...make yourself at home."

"Okay." She said softly. Ivy definitely didn't want to add anything more to the anxiety he already felt, so she conceded. "Being close will actually make me feel safe... better."

He nodded, "Me too." and pulled her back to him, placing his arms around her. Gently holding her head to rest her cheek against his shoulder, as he held her tightly again.

Ivy closed her eyes and relaxed even more than she did before. "Thank you, Connor." She whispered.

"You're welcome." Connor swallowed. "Everything's going to be alright. We're going to be okay." Inside he wasn't sure he would be. Feeling the need to pull away again, he did, although carefully, keeping his hands on her upper arms. "I have to go...make arrangements. I have some work to do, but I won't be long." His eyes searched hers. "Promise me you'll stay here."

She nodded her head. "I'm going to stay, Connor, I promise. Go do what you have to. You're a busy man, I completely understand. I might explore a bit."

He looked at her questioning, "You mean right here...in my apartment. No further than out on my deck..."

Ivy blinked. "But... I'm safe here. He can't..." She clamped her mouth shut and canted her head. "I'll stay here. No further than your deck."

"He can't..?" Connor caught her reference and angled his head to match hers, "Who is he?"

"He is... no one... now." She replied, swallowing back a lump in her throat. The last thing he needed was to worry about her and her issues. "I promise you I'll stay right here. No venturing out any further than the deck. You can go do what you need to. I'll be fine."

"Okay..." he was breathing in deeply, this was bothering the hell out of him, "but we're going to talk about this when I return...alright?"

"When you get back, we can talk about anything you want. I promise." She'd made yet another promise, but she planned to make good on it. Sadly... her need to want to explore was great, but she'd do what he wanted her to.

"Okay..." Connor looked at her with a deeply serious expression, wanting to know who 'he' was and at the same time worried he was going to chase her away. What that would do to their parents. To lose Alex...his twin, a big part of himself gone with him. Then to lose Ivy..

Connor closed his eyes, and swallowed hard. A moment later opening them as he let go of her and pulled away. "I'll be back in a while." he said, as he started heading towards the door. He stopped by a wall comm panel on the way. "If you need me, you can reach me through this." he told her, pointing to it.

Ivy moved over to the comm panel and looked it over. "I think I'll be okay, but I will call if I need anything. Now... go. People are going to start wondering where you ran off to. Though, it isn't like you can get into trouble. You run the place." She smiled over at him.

"The Campus? Yeah...that's true..." Connor somehow managed to smile back, although his eyes revealed something else. One of the hardest things for him to do because of his OCD was to trust, and considering Ivy's past, he was finding it very hard to trust her right now. He reached over and gently took her hand in his, his eyebrows furrowed in worry. "Ivy, I just... want you to know how much it means to me to have you here. I love you." and then before she had a chance to say anything back, he kissed her on the cheek and went out the door.

"I love you, too, Connor." Ivy muttered to the emptiness. Now she felt just as bad as she did when she'd first arrived. Moving over to the couch, she settled down and sighed.

~~End~~



Ivy McKinney
Prodigal Sister & Botanical Engineer
Magellan Campus

Lt Cmdr Maggie Hubbell
Senior Transporter Operator
Magellan Station

CPO Teri Lane
Dean's Yeoman & Protector
Magellan Campus

Doctor Connor McKinney
Dean & Protective Brother
Magellan Campus