Recognizing A Need
Posted on Sun Feb 3rd, 2019 @ 11:55pm by Senior Captain Connor McKinney M.D. PhD & Captain Karyn Dallas R.N.
Edited on on Sun Feb 3rd, 2019 @ 11:56pm
Mission:
The First Step...
Location: Chief Counselor's Office
Timeline: 2388/08/27 1500 (August 27 2388 3:00pm)
Sitting in the outer office, waiting for Karyn Dallas to be done with the person before him, Connor ran a finger over the stubble beneath his nose as he fitfully went over his reasons for being there; he was switching counselors, was behind in his appointments, and his OCD was off the charts again. His memory losses, and reluctantly, self-treating were on the list, too, but only as afterthoughts, for his new relationship with Maddie, the possibility of losing Alex, and Ivy, were his main concerns.
He kept forcing his mind back to scheduled work he had waiting for him in his office, but sitting in the Counselor's office in itself kept bringing him back. And he wanted to leave.
The doors hissed open and a female walked briskly out of the office and to the door that led to the exterior corridor. She'd had a good session and she believed she was making progress but she was a bit concerned about who might see her within counseling and how it might be perceived by others. She froze like a deer in headlights half-way across the room when she spotted McKinney. "H...hello, sir."
Keeping still, Connor's eyes had followed her. He placed his hands together in his lap, "Ensign." and then gave a small, understanding smile. Connor had been in counseling for the most of his life, since he was a little boy. He couldn't relate to how she was feeling, but he did understand her concerns. "You have a good day." he said, his expression encouraging.
Sighing inwardly and visibly relaxing the Ensign smiled. "You too, sir."
Just as the doors closed behind her, the doors to Karyn's office opened and the red-head in the hoverchair emerged. Spotting Connor, she smiled and offered, "Hello. Thank you for coming," she added, offering her hand.
"Counselor." Connor responded walking over to her, taking her hand and shaking it. He didn't say another word as he studied her, waiting for her to direct him inside.
Karyn returned the handshake firmly before motioning with her hand for him to follow her inside. She couldn't decide if his reserve was meant to be polite or an indication of anxiety. "Come on in." Moving her chair in well enough for him to enter, she turned and asked, "May I get you anything from the replicator?"
"Water," He started walking around the room. "Thank you." he said as he looked around, and then stopped to look out the large picture window. He was having a difficult time, more so than he thought he would.
Karyn filled his request easily enough and as she moved to him to hand him his water, she said, "It's a beautiful view, isn't it?"
Connor nodded, accepting the water and drinking down half of it, placing the side of his hand on his mouth before replying, "From every window." He inhaled deeply as he continued to stare out towards the bay, "Counselor, believe me, I know how necessary this is but right now I just want to get this over with." His patience was very thin right now. Even so, what Miach said kept coming back to him, causing him to momentarily close his eyes.
"Alright," Karyn offered gently. "Perhaps we should start with what you most dread discussing? Ripping the bandaid off so to speak."
He turned to look at her, and then moved to sit down in a chair. Leaning back against its armrest, he rubbed his forehead with one hand, continuing to hold his glass of water in the other, as he answered with, "My brother."
Dallas nodded silently. "I was informed he was missing. I'm so sorry. Dealing with the uncertainty would be painful for anyone, but it's especially important for you not to fall into a castrophizing spiral," Karyn asserted. She expected Connor knew what she meant. Anxiety and depression were often made worse when a person allowed himself to assume the absolute worst in a situation in which nothing was known either way.
"Yeah, I've done that before..." he replied quietly, knowing she knew that from his file. "I'm tryin' not to again."
"How's that going?" Karyn asked evenly.
"I don't know..." Connor suddenly leaned forward, and after placing his glass of water on the table before him, he folded his hands together and looked over at her, "That's not true. I'm strugglin', I'm confused...'n' I'm..." he swallowed as he admitted, "really scared."
Karyn offered an encouraging nod. "All those feelings are completely understandable, and it's good you can identify them. That's the first key step to coping. Have you been able to use your anxiety management strategies?"
Connor shook his head as he looked down to the floor. "I've been strugglin'...this past year, transferrin' from one type of OCD to another. I feel like I'm startin' over."
"In some ways, that's true," Karyn acknowledged, "but in many ways you've learned and grown. The tools that have helped you before will help you now, Connor. It's a matter of practice, and I can remind you of them. I think it's a sign of progress that you're here and that you recognize you need to manage your escalating anxiety."
Still looking downwards, Connor nodded, "Okay." He knew she was right, that it was always a good idea to go over them.
"So, what skills have you learned that you think could help you now? The situation isn't familiar, I know, but the feelings aren't entirely foreign to you, are they?"
"No," he shook his head and looked back up to her, working himself into the right mindset, "they're not." Then they started going over those skills, one by one, together.
Doctor Connor McKinney
Dean
Magellan Campus
&
Captain Karyn Dallas, R.N.
Chief Counselor/Counseling Instructor
Starfleet Academy: Magellan Campus
&
NPC Ensign by Lori
