Emotionally Charged

Posted on Mon Apr 1st, 2019 @ 11:37pm by Mackenzie Bergman & Commander Jacob Bannerman
Edited on on Mon Apr 1st, 2019 @ 11:38pm

Mission: Ready For The Weekend!
Location: Beach
Timeline: 2388/08/30 2320 (Sat. Aug. 30 2388 11:20pm)

After the concert was over and she'd said her goodbyes to Kelly and Gwen, Mackenzie found herself outside walking in no particular direction. Her mind was racing a mile a minute. The truth was, she didn't even want to leave her apartment, but she had to go to the concert to show her support, and much to her surprise, she'd enjoyed every second of it. The last thing she'd ever expected to happen while she was there, though, happened. Jake made an appearance, and to make things worse, he'd chosen to sit right next to her. She still didn't understand why she was so drawn to the man even after he'd made it abundantly clear he wanted nothing else to do with her. It tore her up inside, but it was his choice to make, and she'd just have to live with it whether she liked it or not.

"Hey." Jake said softly as he fell in to step beside her. Truth was, he had no idea what he was doing but he just felt that the way things had been left between them was just...wrong.

Now... I'm hearing his voice in my head. Mack thought to herself miserably. She was so deep in her own misery that it just hadn't occurred to her that he was actually walking next to her. "Get a grip, Mackenzie Elizabeth. He made it clear he doesn't want you." She mumbled to herself as she turned her gaze to her feet. It was only then that she noticed the second pair of much larger ones moving in time with her own. She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment, then opened them as she came to a stop to look toward the man she'd been spending a lot of time thinking about. "Hi." She whispered.

"That's not entirely true you know." Jake said quietly as he turned to face her, his own feet slowing to a stop.

"What's not entirely true?" She found herself asking him.

"Well, you said I don't want you." Jake replied, his gaze intense, "The fact is, I want you so bad it hurts." he began to explain, "But the weird thing is, for the first time in my life..." he paused, ripping his gaze from hers as he turned away and shoved his hands in his pockets, "For the first time in my life, I value someone's happiness above my own. I'm no good for you Mack. Hell I don't even know why I'm here." he looked up at the sky and shook his head then snorted, "You saw the tape, you saw that a leopard never changes his spots." he sighed "I'm sorry, I should have never come here tonight." his jaw clenched as he turned to leave her, the jumble of words a reflection of his inner turmoil.

Mack swallowed a lump in her throat, fighting to keep the tears that threatened to fall from falling down her cheeks. She didn't want to cry. She'd already done so much of that. "Then why did you?" She asked quietly, looking at his back when he turned. "If you think you're not good enough for me, then why torture us both?" Although, part of her... the sadistic side... was happy to know he wanted her to the point of it hurting. And the fact that he valued her happiness... it made her heart soar.

"Because so help me, I can't keep away." Jake whirled to face her, his expression filled with a mixture of confusion and a deep sadness that told of a man who knew that he had already lost everything. "I wish I could. Because hell if I want to be tortured again...I've had enough of that for twenty life times but I just can't. You're like a goddamn drug."

"If that was the case, then wouldn't it be me that wasn't good for you?" The redhead asked, turning her gaze to his once again. She was a defiant little thing... stubborn. "You just left me sitting there in tears, Jake. You didn't even try to explain. You just... left."

"Because there was no point trying to explain." Jake barked back, "I could see in your eyes that you'd already made up your mind about what happened in that recording." he added, his breathing coming hard and fast.

"You assume I made my mind up." Mack said softly, turning her gaze back down to the ground. Part of her wanted to run away, but a bigger part of her wanted to hug him, beg him to forget about everything that happened. "I'm giving you a chance to explain now."

Jake looked around them and nodded before holding out a hand to her, "Okay...but not here. It's too public." he added as a couple of cadets from the concert ran by them giggling at some private joke.

"Where do you want to go?" Mack asked as a familiar rush fell over her at the thought of being alone with him.

"I don't know, the beach? Your place? My place? The hangar?" Jake reeled off, "Take your pick."

"Let's go to the beach. I think it's closer." She said, turning in that direction and walking toward it. She found herself thinking about the last time they'd gone to the beach and how it turned out, but now things were so different. The feelings were definitely still there, and she had a feeling they would be for a long time to come. Mack had to keep a little distance between them, or she was going to end up touching him. If she did that... all bets would be off. Now was the time to be strong... to exhibit a little self control.

"Beach it is." Jake nodded as he set off after her. They walked in silence for several minutes until they were finally alone. Just the two of them, the cool sand beneath their feet and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore.

"So..." Jake finally said after a long silence, "You want to know my take on what happened huh?" he turned to look at her again, the wind ruffling through his dark hair as he watched her.

The redhead turned her gaze up to him and canted her head. No matter how much hearing his side might hurt her, she needed to know. "Yes, I want to know." She answered softly.

"Okay." Jake flopped down onto the sand and drew his knees up to his chest, "I'd just finished a class and dismissed everyone but this one cadet stayed behind. She said at first she wanted some extra tuition." he ran a frustrated hand through his hair then sighed, "But then she started coming on to me. I turned her down so she got nasty, started blackmailing me. In a nutshell she was saying that if I didn't have sex with her she'd make up some story about me forcing myself on her or something like that." he closed his eyes, "Then she started to undress, got right down to her panties." his voice was strained as he admitted "And I thought about it Red, so help me for one split second I actually considered it." then he turned to look at her and added "But then I thought about you and knew that I couldn't. I made a promise to you and I couldn't break that. You mean too much to me to do that to you." he picked up a pebble that was lying beside him and tossed it angrily at the ocean, "Anyway, then Leo turned up and helped me toss her out. So if you don't believe my story you can ask him. He can tell you that I didn't have sex with that cadet."

Mack settled down on the sand next to him and stared out over the moon-kissed water while she listened to him tell his side of the story. If he'd just said something before, they could have both been spared unnecessary misery. "I believe you." She said softly, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. It did hurt a bit that he'd admitted to thinking about going through with it... even if it was only for a split second. Guilt built up inside of her, and now tears were rolling down her cheeks. For a second, it was hard for her to say anything, but she somehow managed to work through that. "It was wrong of me to make you promise something like that, so I'm releasing you from it. You were born with free will, and no one should take that away from you. Not now... not ever. I'm sorry, Jake."

"For a short while you made me a better person with that promise Red." Jake replied, "You made me think that I could be more than the cold, calculating bastard that I really am." he sighed again, "Before you came along, I wouldn't have thought twice about bedding that girl." he admitted shamefully, "You've got to understand, I've spent my whole life on my own and my entire working life trying to survive. So I took my pleasure where I could find it because I didn't know if I'd be alive tomorrow." he couldn't help but reach out and place his hand over hers as he continued, "But then this job came along, a chance for a normal life just like everyone else and I stupidly believed that maybe a normal life could mean someone to..." he paused and swallowed hard, "Someone to love as well." he pulled his hand away and stood up, "But leopards never change their spots right?" he snorted, "I'm sorry. I won't bother you again. After tomorrow I'll speak to the Dean about submitting my resignation."

Mack placed a hand against her chest and fought to pull in a breath. His words were like a knife straight through to her heart... like a vice around her lungs. He couldn't seriously be considering what he'd just said... then again... he wouldn't have bothered saying it if he wasn't. God... it hurt. Hurt more than anything she'd ever been through in her entire life. That scared her, but what was life without chance? Wasn't that the very reason she'd come to the Delta Quadrant in the first place? To take a chance on a new life? To gamble on something unknown?

She struggled to get to her feet, her hand still against her chest as she attempted to pull in a pained breath. After a moment, the task was finally accomplished, but now there were huge tears rolling down her cheeks. The last thing she wanted Jake to do was leave. It took a moment for her to find her voice past the lump in her throat, but once she managed to swallow it down, she turned her tearful gaze to him. "You... you can't." She sobbed, wanting nothing more than to throw her arms around him and never let him go. The issue was... she didn't know how it would be received on his end. "I... I don't wan... want that! Pl... please, Jake. I... I... love you." She found herself meaning every word she was saying with every single fiber of her being, and for some, perhaps it was far too soon... but for her... it was right. More than right.

Jake froze. She what? Did she really just say those three little words? After everything he'd done? Turning slowly to face her he met her gaze and said "I'm no good for you, never was. Never will be. Forget about me Mack, before I hurt you. I'm incapable of..." he gestured between the two of them, "Of this. Whatever this is."

There was that pain her chest again. Her knees buckled, and she found herself crumbling to the sand beneath her. She'd said everything she could... meant every word of it... and still, he didn't want her. Mack was sure death would be less painful, and at the moment, she'd welcome it with open arms. Stare the grim reaper in black abyss that would be his eyes, open her arms wide and allow him to rip her soul from her body. She dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands, blood pooling around the bite they'd put into her delicate skin. She need to feel something... something other than the pain in her chest. What could she say to him now? He'd made it abundantly clear to her that he was done with whatever it was that was going on between them. All she could do was find a way to make it through... to move forward. He didn't love her. She was a fool to think that maybe... When her thoughts began to derail, her fingernails bit deeper into her palms as little beads of blood began to drip to the sand.

Jake watched in horror as she collapsed to the floor and swore under his breath. If he was doing the noble thing, why did it look like he'd just physically hit her? Turmoil ripped him apart as he battled within. He knew that the best thing for them both was to keep on walking and yet...and yet his heart was being torn from his body as he saw the effect that his words had created. Time was suspended as he watched her until his heart won out and in a few long strides he was by her side, dropping to his knees as he bundled her into his arms. "Don't Red...please don't." he begged, hating the sound of her crying and knowing that he had caused it.

Mack buried her face into his chest when he took her into his arms, and though he was begging her not to cry, she just couldn't stop. She wanted to, but she was afraid if she did, he would want to leave her again. That was something she just couldn't bear. "Don't... go." She pleaded in a voice so soft even she couldn't be sure she'd said anything at all.

With that one soft plea, Jake realised that he was lost to her. He might want to do the right thing but he couldn't. He couldn't leave her even if he tried. Proof of that was in the fact that he'd even turned up tonight. If he really meant every word then he wouldn't have gone out of his way to see her again. He held her silently for a moment, kissing the top of her head until he finally raised her chin so that he could look into her eyes, his own glistening with unshed tears as he rumbled "Don't ever say that I didn't warn you." and with that he lowered his head to meet her lips and kissed her like a drowning man.

Her pulse raced the second his lips touched hers, and for the first time since they'd gone somewhere private to talk, it felt like she was finally able to breathe again. Her hands made their way to his chest and gripped the fabric of his shirt in a mindless effort to hold him there just in case he decided he wanted to try to take off again. Hell... if he really wanted to, he'd have little trouble breaking free from her. She was a tiny little thing compared to him, but she still had a fire inside of her that could rival someone ten times her size. Except... when it came to the very man who had managed to steal her heart. After a few moments, she pulled back and looked up at him. She knew she looked a mess, but he was still there. "I do love you, Jake." She whispered. "I think I did the very moment I met you."

"Even though I tried to touch you up?" Jake smiled down at her dotingly as he brushed a strand of her hair and tucked it behind her ear.

"Yes." Mack whispered. Her heart was on the line, but she didn't care anymore. Commander Jacob Bannerman was the man for her, and no one was ever going to be able to convince her otherwise. In all of her life since she started dating, she'd never felt like anyone the way she felt about him, and as scary as it was for her, she had to take the chance.

He toyed with her hair, for a moment and smiled as he remembered their first meeting. "When I came in for that massage, I really was just looking for a good time. But then I met this feisty, red haired wild cat who wasn't about to let me seduce her." then he chuckled, "You realise that I used every trick in the book and it blunted my ego when you turned me down. You see Red, that's never happened to me before. At least never with a woman that I wanted to bed." he watched her intently for a moment before admitting "I think that was the point that I realised that you weren't like all the rest." he kissed her forehead "But it wasn't until I thought that I'd lost you that I realised something." he cupped her beloved face in his hands, his gaze boring into hers, "I realised that for the first time in my life I was in love and it was too goddamn late." There. He'd admitted it. To her. And more importantly, finally, to himself. "I love you Red." he whispered the words reverently as the world shrank down until only Jake and the woman he loved existed.

Mack shivered as she heard the words he'd just spoken. Never in all her life had she expected him to ever say them, and least of all to her. Her heart was so full, it felt like it was going to burst. All of this had to be a dream, and if it was, she found that she didn't want to wake up. Not now... not ever. "I think... we should find somewhere a bit more private than the beach. Like... my place or yours." She said softly, slipping her hands into his. Their hellish day was soon to be behind them, and now she wanted to look to the future.

"Are you sure about that?" Jake asked as he searched her face, "If we do then our two week promise is very likely to crumble because I'm not sure that I can restrain myself much longer." he admitted sheepishly, willing even now to keep their agreement.

"That's the whole reason we need to find someplace more private." She admitted softly.

Jake took hold of her shoulders and gently held her at arms length as he said "Do you really know what you're saying here? Because I swear, if we start this, I won't be able to stop until I've known every inch of you." his dark eyes filled with a mixture of lust and desire as he considered the prospect.

Mack reached up to take his hands into hers. She still looked a mess, but that didn't matter to her. "Jake... stop talking." She turned after only releasing one of his hands, and began to make her way up the path away from the beach. A smile played on her lips. She kind of liked being bossy where he was concerned, and though she was sure he'd never admit it... she had a feeling he liked it, too.

"Bossy boots." Jake teased, going with her willingly as a deep feeling of peace settled within his soul as the piece that he'd been missing since the day he was born was slotted into place and making him whole. "Trust me to fall in love with a difficult woman." he added, pretending to grumble yet he was unable to get rid of the goofy grin on his face as he said it.

Mack laughed as she did a quick calculation of whose apartment was closer. Turned out, it was his, but she had a puppy that needed to be taken out, so hers was going to be the winner. "Admit it... you appreciate a woman with a spine." She said, finally slowing down so he could walk next to her. Like him, a sense of peace fell into place. She was happy, and the smile on her face showed it.

"I like a woman who can handle me." Jake chuckled, "And trust me Red, you can handle me with your eyes closed." he squeezed her hand and added "And I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Neither would I. You know... maybe that's why you've never settled for a single woman before now." She said as they came to her apartment. Once she keyed her code in to unlock the door, she moved inside and stepped out of the way so he could follow her in. It didn't take long before Leikos was tearing his furry backside into the living room to greet them with his tail wagging happily. Mack reached down to scoop the little furball up and nuzzled the top of his head. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to take him for a quick walk so I can clean myself up a bit? I can't imagine I look too attractive right now." And she didn't. There were mascara tracks down her cheeks from crying, splotchy skin and a little puffiness to her eyes now that they were in the light of her apartment.

"Red, you could be covered in mud from head to toe and you'd still look great." Jake smiled lovingly at her as he took the tiny furball from her.

Mack returned his smile. "That was actually very sweet. I'll be ready to go by the time you two get back." She climbed on to her tip toes and puckered her lips.

"You'd better be." Jake grinned wolfishly as he used his free arm to pull her close and kissed her deeply, absorbing the length of her body against his own as he wondered how his life had flipped between pending heartache to intense happiness within the space of just a few minutes.

When the kiss finally broke, mostly thanks to the struggling puppy in his one arm, Jake pulled back and said "We'll be back the minute he's done his business." he winked and then turned for the door.

"I'll see you two shortly, then." Mack said with a smile. She felt like she was going to burst at the seams with how happy she was. It was truly something she knew she'd never get tired of. And to think... it could have all be so different had he not listened to his heart. Once they were out the door, she made her way to her bathroom to clean up a bit and change her clothes before she found herself settled on her bed to wait for their return. Little did she know that her little wolf-dog was going to give Jake a run for his money by smelling every bush, shrub and tree before finally picking a spot to go.

It was well over half an hour by the time Jake returned. "I swear you did it on purpose you little runt." he grumbled to the dog as Leikos scurried inside the minute the door to Mack's place was opened. "We're back!" he called out, looking around the lounge and failing to see the object of his affection anywhere.

Leikos took off for the bedroom, knowing that's where he'd find his human Mama. He jumped onto the bed and licked her cheek when he found her to be sleeping. Mack groaned and pulled the puppy to her before she opened her eyes and looked around for Jake. When she didn't see him, a moment of panic set in. Did he change his mind? Was he on his way to see the Dean and put in his resignation? She felt like she was going to throw up. Jumping out of bed and setting the puppy down, she raced to the lounge as fast as her legs could take her.

"What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost." Jake commented as he hung up Leikos's lead and turned to face her, his eyes raking over her appreciatively.

"I... I thought you... left. I... panicked." Mack answered lamely. She must have sounded like a complete lunatic. After her quick shower, she'd opted for something simple to wear, which consisted of a t-shirt that was a few sizes to large and managed to swallow her little body.

"I did leave." Jake replied with a shrug, "But now I'm back again." he pointed over his shoulder and added "I can go again if you want me to?" the look in his eye spoke volumes as he teased her, "Though I have to say, you manage to make a t-shirt look amazingly sexy. It would be a shame to miss out on seeing what's underneath it."

Closing the distance between them, Mack wrapped her arms around his waist and shook her head in protest. "I don't want you to go." She laid her head against his chest and closed her eyes. Now that she had him, she didn't ever want him to go. It was too painful. "As for the t-shirt... it's so big, I think you could fit inside of it with me."

"Mmmm..." Jake rumbled as he held her tiny frame, "I kinda like the sound of that...wanna try?" he placed his cheek against the top of her head and inhaled her smell, content to just be holding her...for now.

"You bet I do." But, she made no movement from where they were standing. In fact, she tightened her arms around him just a little bit. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she was content. Really and truly content. "But... this feels really nice."

"Yeah...it does." Jake agreed before scooping her effortlessly up in his arms and striding for the bedroom, "But I vote for somewhere more comfortable." he murmured, claiming her lips before he had even settled her down on the bed.

Mack gave a startled gasp, then smiled when he scooped her up. She could definitely get used to things like this. When he kissed her, she slipped her fingers into his hair and returned it just as the puppy on the bed began to give little barks to indicate that he was still present and accounted for. With a little growl, he bounded toward the two of them more than ready to play.

As he rested her down against the pillows, Jake said "Okay, can we lock him out of here? Next thing we know he'll be watching us do...you know." he shot the puppy a withering glare.

"I'll feed him. He normally falls asleep after he eats." She said, giving him a quick kiss. "I'll be right back." After climbing from the bed once more, she scooped the puppy up and made her way to the kitchen to feed the little canine. After checking his water, and making sure all of his toys were near his bed, she padded her way back to the bedroom with a smile. "He's all set now." She pushed the door closed and made her way back to the bed.

"He isn't exactly making for a uh...spontaneous evening is he?" Jake was laying on her bed, shoes kicked off and looking like he lived there.

"No, but he's still a baby." Mack said as she settled down next to him. "He'll be okay now. He has food, water and toys."

"Just what every man needs." Jake grinned as he rolled over on top of her and gazed down into her eyes, "Did I tell you that I love you Mackenzie Bergman?" he whispered as he lowered his lips to her jaw, trailing kisses along it then down her neck and over her collar bone.

Mack couldn't help but grin at what he said, but all thought went to the wayside the second his lips touched her. At the moment, there were more pressing matters on her mind that needed to be tended to.


Commander Jacob Bannerman
Flight Instructor
Magellan Campus

&

Mackenzie Bergman
Owner: White Lotus Salon and Spa
Magellan Station