Still Missing You

Posted on Sun Feb 19th, 2017 @ 6:36pm by Captain Brady Dering M.D., PhD & Captain Karyn Dallas R.N.
Edited on on Wed Sep 12th, 2018 @ 6:36pm

Mission: My Place In This Universe
Location: Starbase Magellan Docking Station/Magellan Campus
Timeline: 2388/08/12 1100 (August 12 2388 1100)

ON:

On one of Starbase Magellan Docking Station's observation decks, his arms folded, Brady Dering stared out a window, one with a good view of the USS Rollins as she docked.

The Rollins, embarking on an exploratory journey into the frontier, was delivering passengers from Starbase Zulu on her way. Included among them was the Academy's new Chief Counselor to take over the role that Brady had taken on temporarily, among his other work there.

It had been three years since he had last seen Karyn, since they had said goodbye, and Brady was more nervous than he had been in a long time. Breathing in deeply, he turned and headed towards the Station's main docking bay.

Karyn Dallas smiled politely to her fellow travelers as they let her pass in her hoverchair. Whether in deference to her position with Starfleet Counseling or merely her disability, this sort of treatment made her uncomfortable even as she readily acknowledged it was far more preferable than trying to get past a crush of people. She was apprehensive about where she was going and hoped to run into a directory or a familiar face soon.

"Hi Karyn." A man's gentle voice spoke out to one side of her.

She felt herself take a short breath involuntarily in surprise before turning and confirming she had not misheard the voice, all the while knowing his was too distinct to mistake. "Brady," Karyn remarked in what she hoped would seem like friendly delight. Inside, such a simple designation brought with it such a mix of emotions.

Their eyes locked, and Brady forced a smile as he walked forward to fill the space between them. Catching a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes, he wondered if she could see in his what his lips were unable to tell her, what his heart didn't dare to. I've missed you.

They stared at each other for a moment before Brady finally said, "I've had several days to prepare for this moment and now..." he slightly shook his head a little incredulously, "I don't know what to say."

Dallas smiled wanly. "I've had no time to prepare and at least I can fake poise," she teased. "Maybe your professional poker face is rusty?"

Brady had to return her smile. "Maybe." but then it was in his eyes; he didn't feel like pretending.

Suddenly uncomfortable with the silence between them, Karyn offered, "I'm sure there's plenty to discuss work-wise."

"There is." he said curtly, and then winced stepping back and looking away. "I'm sorry, Karyn. Obviously this is my problem..." he said quietly,"I'll deal with it."

Dallas reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I care about you, Brady, and you caring for me will never be a problem."

Brady nodded as if it was just what he'd expected. His expression unreadable, he looked back to her, "Why don't we start with your office." he said evenly. "We can beam down to the planet and I'll take you there."

Karyn nodded and smiled after a moment. This was clearly going to be a work in progress. "I'd like that."

~~~

The two arrived to the Campus, and as if going through the motions Brady took her on a small tour as they headed towards Phlox Medical Center where her office as Chief Counselor would be.

When they arrived he keyed in a code, and stepped aside allowing her to enter before him. "...and the Academic Advising and counseling offices," Brady finished, "are in the Main Building next door."

Karyn guided her hoverchair into the office and openly marvelled at her surroundings. It was a simple office, but it was far bigger and seemed cozier than what she was used to aboard starships. "I'm not used to such a nice space. How did you like being farther from the rest of your staff?"

Brady scratched the side of his nose and folded his arms again before replying, "It's only the academic guidance counselors next door," and his stare became intense, " and besides you have an office over there as well. The rest of your staff is here."

"I suppose with combadges, no one's that far away," Karyn replied with a grin.

"That should be the case." Brady said quietly as he continued to stare at her. "Well," he said finally pulling himself away and feeling the need to breathe in deeply as he walked over to her desk. He picked up a few PADDS. "there are some specific cases we need to talk about."

Dallas nodded. "I had a feeling you were easing me into things. I could always tell when you were holding back," she added.

"That makes one of us..." he murmured and laid the PADDS back down onto the desk. Still not looking at her, he added, "Karyn, maybe...we should do this tomorrow."

Not expecting such a sharp sarcastic remark from him, Karyn was taken aback. She had hoped they could be friendly and equally professional, but obviously that wasn't the case. "Or maybe you should get whatever you need to off your chest, so we can work through this and move on."

Brady continued to look down at the desk, his own expression incredulous. "We were falling in love...at least I thought we were. Then suddenly, with no explanation, you pushed me away." he looked over at her, "You weren't willing to talk about it then. Are you telling me you are willing to talk about it now?"

"I was willing to talk then and I'm willing to talk now. I also gave you an explanation. Things were moving too fast for me. I knew how important my career was to me, and I didn't think it was fair to either of us to string you along making promises for a future I wasn't sure I could give you. That was your explanation. It wasn't one you liked or wanted to hear, but it was the truth for me."

Brady Dering was normally a calm and gentle man, but as he listened to her, disbelief in his eyes, his facial muscles tightened, "You're lying... to me..to yourself, back then and now. You know what..." he spread his hand out to her in a gesture as he sounded angry, "Forget it...I don't need this. I'll send someone over from admin to show you to your apartment. We can discuss work later."

Now it was Karyn who was becoming angry. She had compassion for Brady's broken heart, and was willing to clear the air, but she wasn't going to abide being called a liar or having it affect her work. "Can you discuss work later? Because I plan to give you my point of view on some work related matters and it's not going to go well for you there either if you call me a liar again."

Brady stared at her, his face reddened and he shook his head. His voice filled with emotion, "You're twisting my meaning, Karyn." Then he breathed in running a hand over his head taken aback himself by his reaction. "Okay ...you win." he nodded, pulling out the desk chair and sitting down. He started spreading out the three PADDs before her.

She had not been aware it was a competition, and considered saying so, but elected not to in the spirit of focusing on work. "You mentioned specific cases I need to know about?"

"I think..." he said quietly rubbing at his forehead as he stared at the PADDS, "it would be a better idea if you read them first." wanting like hell to get away from her, he pushed himself out of his seat, "I'll send you some additional notes, and then we can go over them..." and glanced over to her, taking his eyes quickly away, "...tomorrow afternoon?"

"Fair enough," Karyn replied evenly. "Just let me know what time works for you, and I'll work around it."

Brady nodded, confused by her coldness, and started walking to the door, where he then turned around and stared back at her, "I really missed you Karyn, and I'm still missing you. The woman I was falling in love with, she isn't here."

Did he really think he was winning any points with this emotional manipulation? What was she supposed to say to that exactly? Did he think this was a way to bring her closer to him? The more he spoke to her, the angrier she felt. He didn't have to be happy about her reasons, and he didn't have to believe them, but he sure as hell was going to respect her, even if it was only professionally.

She decided there was only one thing she could say under the circumstances. "You're dismissed, 'commander."

After staring at her in disbelief, Brady coldly replied, "Gladly...'sir" and was out the door.


OFF


Captain Karyn Dallas, R.N.
Chief Counselor/Psych Instructor - Dept. Head
Magellan Campus

Lieutenant Cmdr Brady Dering
Psychiatrist
Zulu Fleet