Silent Lucidity
Posted on Thu Jan 31st, 2019 @ 10:18pm by Senior Captain Connor McKinney M.D. PhD & Captain Madeline Sanchez
Edited on on Thu Jan 31st, 2019 @ 10:18pm
Mission:
The First Step...
Location: Maddie's Quarters
Timeline: 2388/08/27 0830 (August 27 2388 08:30am)
(Lyrics)
With barely any sleep under her belt, Maddie opened her eyes as the sunlight streamed through her window and sighed at the thought of having to get up. She turned her head to look at the sleeping man beside her and smiled. He had finally slept, exhausted after the day before and right now, fast asleep he looked at peace even if it were for a brief moment.
Carefully, so as not to wake him, she extracted herself from the bed and stretched, her muscles aching from the night of passion that they had shared. Reaching for her robe, she put it on and headed out of the bedroom into the kitchen in need of food and coffee. Setting the coffee to brew, she began to gather the ingredients together to make breakfast for the two of them. Opting for something traditional from Connor's culture, she got out bacon, eggs, bread and potatoes and began to cook as she hummed softly to herself.
No...no...Oh my god no! Alex!
Connor's eyes flew open and he found himself in an empty bed. He was shaking. "Maddie." he whispered, and wondering where she was, feeling really anxious, he closed his eyes again and slowly worked on his breathing. A few minutes went by before he reopened them, and he laid there and looked around room until he saw what time it was. "Oh no..." he groaned, and quickly pulled himself up to the side of the bed. He saw his combadge lying on the nightstand and got a hold of Teri to find out that Brady had contacted her. James Armstrong had taken over his office.
When he walked out of the bedroom in his dress uniform pants and tank top several minutes later, he followed the wonderful smells and the noise coming from the kitchen. He saw Maddie standing there before the stove and cooking, and he quietly watched her as he leaned back against the counter, gripping it's edge. He really loved the sight of her; how her beautiful thick raven hair was pulled back loosely behind her shoulders, and the very thin robe she wore that left very little to the imagination.
Turning around with a pan of sizzling bacon in her hand, Maddie caught sight of him and smiled as she asked "How long have you been standing there and more importantly did you hear my terrible humming?"
"Not long," Connor managed to smile, and then lightly chuckled with a slight grimace as he looked down to the floor, "and yes...I did." He was teasing her. Actually he liked it.
"Well hopefully my cooking will make up for it." Maddie smiled at him, "I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed...guess I failed." she added as she dished up the bacon and turned back to collect the hash browns so that she could plate those up next.
"Yeah..." he thought about the dream and said sadly, "I'm really sorry I ruined that." He looked over at her and then turned to reach past her for a plate handing it out to her.
"It's okay." Maddie replied as she dished up the potatoes and then reached for the scrambled eggs, "I hope that you're hungry because there's enough here to feed campus." she smiled up at him enjoying the domestication of the whole situation.
Connor loved that smile, and found himself caught by it for a moment before grabbing the two serving plates that were filled. "I am. I never had dinner last night," he said as he placed them down on the table.
"You should have told me...I'd have made something for you." Maddie replied though considering the shape he was in when he'd arrived at her door she was pretty sure he wouldn't have eaten anything.
"I didn't think about it," he replied back quietly. He was also thinking about the shape he had been in. He placed a hand on the back of a chair and asked, "Did you contact Brady earlier this morning?"
"Yeah...I knew we'd end up sleeping late and I wanted to be sure someone was in the office." Maddie nodded with a sheepish smile, "Hope you didn't mind."
"I don't...I don't know." he murmured, pulling out the chair to take a seat. With his elbows on the table, he brought his hands together to his mouth.
"Does that mean you do mind?" Maddie asked with a frown.
Connor looked up at her, and shook his head. "No" he said, bringing his hands down together to the table, "I'm disappointed...but not in you."
"Why are you disappointed? Not in yourself surely?" Maddie asked as she sat down her breakfast momentarily forgotten.
"Yeah," he said, feeling and looking vulnerable, "I've been making this worse on myself." Not wanting to discuss it anymore, he got out of his chair and went for the fridge. "Do you have any juice?" he shouted back to her.
"Orange or cranberry? They're both in there." Maddie replied as he reached the fridge, "Or the replicator if you want anything else." she added, watching him closely, knowing that there was more to that comment than he was willing to tell her.
Connor poured them each a glass and sat back down to drink about half of his before he started filling his plate. He glanced up at her, "This is bonza, Maddie, thank you."
"You're welcome." Maddie smiled, "I figure that you'd need it after last night, especially considering the fact that you skipped a meal." she looked at him disapprovingly.
His eyes returned to her, but at first he didn't respond. He set the serving plate of eggs back on the table. "I can't talk about what happened at the station last night...not right now." he said quietly. "Please don't take that personally."
"I won't." Maddie replied before asking "So pick a topic...what shall we talk about?" she smiled, inviting him to take his mind off of things.
"Us." he responded before he knew he was going to, and immediately an alarm went off inside him. He closed his eyes wishing he hadn't.
"Us?" Maddie looked surprised. She could have thought about a lot of things but talking about their relationship hadn't been one of them.
"Why does that surprise you?" he said looking back to her, "The two people on my mind the most right now are you 'n' Alex." He momentarily looked down to the table and shook his head, "But I shouldn't have brought us up right now..."
"Why not?" Maddie asked with a frown, not sure that she understood what he was getting at either way, "I mean, if it helps you to get your mind off Alex then I don't mind." she said softly.
Connor reached over and grabbed her hand. He held it firmly as if he would have to keep her from pulling away. "Because I have relationship OCD, 'n' stress or trauma often triggers it's symptoms. You got a glimpse of it yesterday, Maddie, 'n' I don't want to direct it at you. I'm trying to keep that from happening."
"But I understand Connor." Maddie replied quietly leaving her hand just where it was, "Brady told me the kinds of things you experience and he told me that it was going to be hard." she placed her free hand on top of his and added "I know that I'll feel shut out, pushed away, in the way and more at times and I know that it'll hurt, just like it did last night but I'm not a kid Connor, I know that this relationship is going to be hard but I'm willing to stick at it." she lifted her hand to touch his cheek and whispered "Because I love you with all my heart."
Feeling touched but also bewildered, Connor's eyes began to mist over. "Why? No..." he quickly corrected, "don't answer that. Just, if it ever changes, walk away. Promise me that."
"It won't ever change." Maddie smiled at him, "A heart knows when it finds its match. But if it makes you feel better then yes, if I ever fall out of love with you then I'll walk away." she added softly.
Breathing in deeply, Connor nodded and held her gaze for a couple more seconds before looking over their plates. "All this great food is getting cold."
"Then let's eat." Maddie replied with a smile, "And remember whatever you think, whatever you feel, I love you and I always will."
He took her hand and kissed her wrist. Any doubtful thoughts that went through his head, he was able to and chose to ignore them. For within this moment, he knew just how much he loved her too.
Captain Madeline Sanchez
Assistant Dean
Magellan Campus
Doctor Connor McKinney
Dean
Magellan Campus
