To Figure Things Out

Posted on Sun Mar 15th, 2020 @ 12:57pm by Senior Captain Connor McKinney M.D. PhD & Captain Madeline Sanchez
Edited on on Sat Jun 26th, 2021 @ 11:46am

Mission: Courage
Location: A cabin on a mountain, Sapientia
Timeline: 2388/09/01 0630 (Mon. Sept. 01 2388 6:30am)
Tags: Edited: removal of a repeat sentence.

On the far side of a mountain, a fair distance from the colony sat a small cabin. Light-blowing snow drifted lazily by, not heavy enough to add to the delicate fluff that decorated it and the trees nearby. A hovercar landed a short distance away and then left two people behind a few minutes later as it flew away.

Looking around them, Connor took in a deep breath, noticing how the crisp early morning air felt good on his lungs, and how focusing on breathing the cold air in and out helped to blank his mind. It was a short reprieve from the mess of OCD thoughts and emotions he'd been dealing with for the past week, from his brother going missing and then being found, not to mention the toll it had been taking on his relationship with Maddie.

Initially, he hadn't appreciated the forced break, but now, having thought on it, he knew Greg had been right to make the decision he had. That he had not been coping well was an understatement. And now, here, he could take time to figure things out, including things Maddie knew nothing about.

The crunching of snow gave away to the creaking of wood as they stepped onto the tiny porch. Glancing back at her, he sent her a slight smile as they approached the door. He opened it, reaching around to activate the lights, before stepping out the way for her to enter.

Warmth enveloped her as she stepped inside and returning Connor's smile, she said "Well I'm not sorry to be going in here rather than staying out there." her smile widened, "After all, you are dating a woman who's used to tropical weather you know."

"That I do." Connor smiled again and then walked in further before placing their luggage down. "Now it's been a long time since I've dealt with this type of weather," he said as he started looking around the room.

It was a cozy room, a living room area on one end, and a small kitchen with a table on the other. At one end of the living room was a majestic fieldstone fireplace with an oak-looking hearth. No way, he thought, was the room set up for a group of scientists. There were three rooms across the way. One he assumed was the bathroom, the other two bedrooms.

He turned, going over to her, pulling her into a hug, and resting his head on hers, hugged her tighter. "Thank you."

"For what?" Maddie mumbled into his chest as she leaned into him, so very glad for the time alone with him.

Connor pulled back, only a little, causing her to look up to him. And he then let go of her to reach up and cradle her face. "For not allowing me to do this alone, for being here for me." His eyes searching hers, he leaned down and started kissing her slowly.

Giving in to the kiss, Maddie was silent as they simply enjoyed each other's proximity until they finally came up for air and she said "Something told me that leaving you alone wouldn't be good for either of us."

His hands having moved down to her upper arms, he nodded and then lingered there as he slowly pulled away. "It wouldn't have," he agreed, yet not wanting to continue on the subject any longer. "How about I start a fire?" he asked, smiling a sweet smile as he headed over to the fireplace.

"Yes please." Maddie nodded, an image of the two of them sharing a glass of wine before a roaring fire springing to mind and making her smile.

***

The fire going, Connor joined Maddie on the couch, his earlier conversation with Brady coming back to him as he stared at the flames looking as if he was a million miles away.

"Penny for them." Maddie said as she settled into his side and cuddled up, letting the warmth from the fire soak into her body, replacing the chill that had previously filled the previously unoccupied cabin.

Connor watched the flame of the fire dance. "I have a decision to make," he replied quietly, and then recalled how she had found him with Brady on the beach a while after he had stormed out of the Admiral's office. "According to Brady," he paused, "there may be a partial cure for me."

"There is?" Maddie lifted her head to look at him, "What did he say?" she prompted, eager to hear what Brady had proposed.

His eyes fell on hers. "They've been researching my condition at Starbase Unity 'n' with assistance from the Kotharians, have a developed a new procedure showing more promise than what's been tried before." He looked back to the fire and took in a deep breath. It was suddenly feeling harder to fill her in than he thought it would.

"Why do I sense that there's a but in here somewhere?" Maddie watched him, knowing that something like this was probably too good to be true.

"Maybe..." he felt the need to take in a deep breath, "because there is. If it works, because of the area of the brain they would be targeting, I could become a different person."

"Different...how?" Maddie said cautiously, not sure that she liked the sound of this procedure at all.

"It could change..." Breathing harder, Connor stopped talking while intrusive thoughts were working their way in. He got off the couch, placing his free hand over his mouth and chin as he took a few steps away. And with his back to her, he tried to work through how to explain it to her.

"You mean between us?" Maddie said in barely a whisper, a heavy weight settling deep in her stomach.

He nodded, responding just as quietly, "Yeah," and then turned around to face her, making himself explain. "It could change how I feel about people, how I feel about many things. It could change...me." Seeing the expression on her face, the fear in her eyes, he went back to her, pulling her into his arms to hug her tightly again.



Captain Madeline Sanchez
Assistant Dean
Magellan Campus

&

Doctor Connor McKinney
Dean
Magellan Campus