Revelations part one

Posted on Wed Nov 16th, 2016 @ 11:15pm by Senior Captain Connor McKinney M.D. PhD & Captain Brady Dering M.D., PhD & Captain Madeline Sanchez
Edited on on Wed Sep 12th, 2018 @ 5:54pm

Mission: My Place In This Universe
Location: Beach/Maddie's Quarters
Timeline: 2388/07/26 2230 (July 26 2388 2230)

ON:

Sapientia's two moons were full over the ocean and two figures walked along the sandy shoreline. With the gentle lapping of waves barely missing their feet, the two figures stopped and turned towards each other.

"You're doing much better than you're giving yourself credit for." Brady said, his voice calm and supportive. "You didn't retreat. You didn't ask her to leave. And Connor...no HBOT treatment."

Feeling the cool ocean breeze caress his skin, Connor closed his eyes as he listened. "Yeah." He nodded, looking around, and then back to Brady. "I have to tell her..." he said, nearly questioned. His jaw tightened and his brow drew down as he thought about it.

"Whomever you choose to tell will 'always be' your decision to make." Brady reminded him. "I'll never make that decision for you."

Hearing him, Connor slightly nodded as he looked towards his apartment building, placing his hands into his pockets. "We'll be working together nearly on a daily basis, " he reasoned, " 'n' we live right across the hall from each other. I think it's...only fair that she knows. I've made my decision, I'm going to tell her." and he swallowed, "Thank you Doctor."

"Okay." Brady said, and laid a hand on Connor's shoulder. He understood why this was a hard decision for Connor to make. "If you need to talk some more, don't hesitate. I'm available anytime." he said, giving him a reassuring look before walking away.

Still looking up at the apartment building, Connor saw a silhouette move across the balcony window of what he knew to be Maddie's apartment, and he headed towards there.

~~~

Maddie stopped her pacing for a moment and turned to look at her computer terminal. "You're stupid you know that?" she said aloud to herself, "It's been like what? Seven months? And just because you're tired and lonely you really think it's a good idea to reply to his letter?" she continued to rationalise with herself before continuing to pace.

Meanwhile, Connor had stepped off the turbolift out in the hallway, and hesitated by his door before proceeding down to hers. Inhaling deeply, he pressed the chime button and waited.

The sound of the doorchime made Maddie jump, so engrossed in her own personal battle was she. Forgetting the letter that still sat open on her computer terminal, she headed over to the door and opened it. Her eyes widened as she saw Connor standing there but she quickly recovered and managed a shaky smile before saying "Hi..."

He stared back at her, his look intense. "We need to talk."

"We do?" Maddie looked confused as she stepped aside to let him inside.

Connor walked in and faced her. His eyes seem to take her all in, and then awkwardly looked away. Gripping his hands together he began to walk around the room. "Actually I'm the one that needs to talk. There's something I need to tell you."

"Okay...come sit down." Maddie replied before asking "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Water please." he said quietly, accepting her offer, really wanting something stronger. Rubbing his forehead, he crossed over to an armchair and sat down.

Collecting some cold water from the replicator, Maddie walked over to him and handed him the glass. "There you go." she smiled as she sat down opposite him and waited for him to begin.

His eyes having followed her, Connor said, "Thanks." and then closed them before staring at the glass. A feeling of deja vu swept over him as he was about to disclose something so personal, and embarrassing, something he battled day in and day out, was ashamed of...to a beautiful woman. Would he use the right words? Would he regret it like he did the last time...?

"This isn't easy..." he said as all the 'what-ifs' went through his head.

Unsure just what he was about to tell her, Maddie could tell that whatever it was, it was serious and she said softly "Take your time...there's no rush."

In reply he started shaking his head, "I'll just drive myself crazy if I take too long." and then sarcastically smiled at his choice of words. His smile leaving, he looked up at her, "Madeline...I have a mental illness. One that even modern 24th century medicine has been unable to cure all the causes of..." His eyes studied her as he continued, wanting to lay it all out for her, "A rare genetic cause of obsessive compulsive disorder."

"Well I'd never have guessed so you obviously work hard to control it." Maddie said softly, her heart going out to him as she saw the troubled look on his face.

Connor continued to stare at her, his nerves rising, "I'm not sure you would recognize it for what it is." and then sat his glass down to pinch between his eyes...for the hardest part was still to come.

"Then help me to understand." Maddie prompted him, leaning forward in her chair a little.

Connor slightly shook his head, removing his fingers, for a moment his blue-hazel eyes revealing the apprehension and uncertainty he was struggling with. He ran a hand roughly down over his mouth and chin, "I can't." He looked at her, and their eyes locked. "There's no way I can help you understand what goes on in my head 'n' there's no way I can help you see things, or understand things, the way that I do...'n' you're partially right..." His eyes searched hers, "I've worked hard to keep it all internal so that noone looks at me 'n' says 'that bloke has OCD', but I have to work hard at it everyday 'n' the symptoms are always there for me. What I'm trying to tell you Madeline is..." Then there was such sadness in his eyes, and he struggled, "I'm not always crushie to get along with..." He stopped, looking as if he wanted to say more before pushing himself out of his seat and rubbing a hand behind his neck as he walked away from her.

"I've met my fair share of difficult customers." Maddie said softly, "And can I just say that I appreciate your honesty in confiding in me." She watched him and wished that she could take away some of the sadness that seemed to emanate from his body.

"Thank you...for listening." he replied quietly, having stopped and now stared in the direction of her computer terminal. Lines formed between his brows. Had he come at a bad time? Had he interupted her...? "I apologise." he gestured a hand out to it.

Blushing bright red as she considered the fact that Connor may have seen the contents of the letter onscreen, Maddie got up and rushed over to the computer, turning off the screen and saying "It's okay...it was just a uh...message from the past." she smiled at him awkwardly.

His gaze intense, Connor frowned. Having been trying to to say more and suddenly unable, suddenly feeling as if he was intruding, he stated back to her, "I didn't read it." and feeling the need to point out, "I don't read other peoples' messages."

"I...uh..." Maddie felt embarassed for thinking that he might have read it at that point and ended with a lame "That's fine...it was nothing important."

Connor continued to stare at her, feeling more awkward as the seconds ticked by. His brows furrowed as he felt the need to leave...and he didn't believe her. He ran a hand over his mouth as he uncomfortably looked away. "I think it was," he said quietly. "I should go..." as he took a step back and then headed towards the door.

"I...uh..." Maddie began to say but before she could get any more out, he was gone.


To Be Continued...